By Stuart Fail
AS long as I can remember depression was a dark shadow that always kept me from the light. I have prayed for depression to be taken from me so I can live with joy and peace, but God has decided depression is a part of my spiritual journey. In the Bible, Apostle Paul asked God three times to be relieved of some affliction but God said ‘My grace is sufficient for you’ (2 Corinthians 12:9). God has chosen to do the same for me.
His grace is sufficient. Though I struggle with depression I have learned I can share my experiences with others in the hope that other people will see that depression is manageable with God’s help and grace.
There are those who believe that if you have depression and anxiety that you’re not right with God. I’m here to tell you that is not true. Although there are various treatments available, there is no cure for mental illness but there is a respite from it with God’s love. I am a Christian and I still have mental illness, but I have moments of peace when I give all my pain to God and trust that He’ll ease my suffering (Philippians 4:6-7).
I think it’s important to know emotional pain will be there even with God’s love but there are moments, and even days with divine peace. I don’t believe God only wants us to suffer (2 Timothy 4:5). I believe He wants us to have clarity so we can share with others that depression is manageable. God said we would all suffer on earth but He brings moments of joy to remind us He loves us.
One important thing to remember is that millions of people suffer from depression and being a Christian doesn’t mean it’s going to just disappear. However, prayer and worship bring hope. If we give God our fears and pain and anxiety, He will take them and give us respite (Matthew 11:28). Even though depression is still in us we can feel better.
I’ve wondered if God wants me to worship Him and speak about His blessings, then why am I depressed? I believe God wants to get close to us and our scars so we can see Him better. We turn to God when we are suffering and we get a deeper relationship with Him. The reason why God allows suffering in us is to keep us focused on His mercy and not become too self reliant.
It’s taken a long time for me to come to terms with my depression and anxiety as afflictions I’ll probably have for the rest of my life. But God will reveal Himself in our pain; we just need to ask Him. If you want to know what I mean take some time off and go through the book of Psalms (especially the ones written by King David) and immerse yourself in the sufferings of Job and how God revealed Himself to him in the end.
Another difficult feeling we face with depression is guilt. I beat myself up with guilt over past sins, but Gods’ redemption isn’t so we are reminded of our sins, but to see God’s grace. One way I feel better is when I praise God for the things He has done in my life, for what He’s done in general for all of us. We have the opportunity to live in Heaven with Him and Jesus. That is worthy of my praise always.
When I feel like I need to be closer to Christ I read the Bible or pray. When I feel depression or anxiety, I read the Bible and pray. I still take medicine as well but I believe God has put the people on earth to help us with our afflictions; this is His way of showing us His love. Some people think God is not concerned about depression because so many people have it. No, medical professionals are here for us as a gift from God to help us cope.
God has a plan for us and in spite of our depression, He has dreams for us, plans to give us a full life (Jeremiah 29:11). He has no plans to harm us, but our suffering is part of His plan to share with others, so those suffering from depression know they are not alone.
You are loved by God. I believe God knows my pain and wants me to be lifted from it to offer Him praise. Mental illness is not about being wrong with God. Paul was right with God but still suffered some type of pain. God wants us to put our faith in Him in all things. And if He doesn’t take the depression away, He has purpose for you. He will reveal to you what He wants you to do. Ask Him for guidance through the depression, and know you are not at fault for having depression. Forget the guilt, it’s not what God wants for us. He may just be trying to use you for something, to help someone else in need from your own experience and insight. God loves you.
The writer has a master’s degree in screenwriting from UCLA. He is a published novelist, and ghost writer of screenplays and teleplays. He has also won awards for his scripts.
