By Margo Woodward
ANGER is an emotion that many people struggle with, and it can easily be linked to destructive or other negative behaviors. Proverbs 27:4 gives us an insight into anger: “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?”
Anger is outrageous.
Those who struggle managing anger often find it difficult to control, as it often immediately explodes after being provoked. If you, or someone you know, is experiencing difficulty managing anger, consider these 5 tips.
1. Acknowledge the issue.
The first step in managing anger is acknowledging that there is an issue. I personally can recall when God first allowed me to see that I had an anger issue. Here a few things to consider:
– Are you always angry about something?
– Is it difficult to let the anger go?
– Do you experience intense anger?
– Are you easily angered? Or, prone to violence?
For some, it has taken an extreme circumstance for them to acknowledge their struggle with anger. Consider those who have done the unthinkable, due to their inability to control their anger. They have to live with the consequences forever. Acknowledging the issue and seeking support for growth, is the first step in managing anger.
2. Take note.
Begin to take note of what angers you. I encourage you to literally take note and write it down. Whenever you have an episode, take the time to step away and take notes of what happened. Write about what angered you and why it angered you. Express yourself on paper.
This will allow you to begin to identify what’s triggered within you that causes you to respond with anger. Anger is simply an expression of an internal state. For instance, if on the inside you are really fearful and insecure, whenever those feelings are ‘poked’, you may respond in anger. Anger is a way of protecting you from being exposed. Taking note of your anger episodes, allows you to see trends, which will allow you to get to the root of the issue.
3. Focus on your heart.
As you’ve started taking note and have some good ‘data’ to assess, now’s the time to focus on your heart. The expression of anger, as well as your feelings and triggers, are all just exposing what’s within your heart.
Overcoming anger issues will require you to begin working on your heart.
Working on your heart will require humility and honesty. You’ll begin to identify what’s currently in your heart and focus on the truth that needs to replace it. For example, if you realize that your heart is full of unforgiveness and bitterness; then you will need to reference God’s Word to determine the antidote. Compassion? Forgiveness? Love?
Ephesians 5:2 directs us to walk in love toward others, just as Christ has loved us. Submitting ourselves to God’s Word will allow us to overcome the heart issues that currently cause us to explode in anger.
4. Commit to growth.
Once you’ve acknowledged the issue and have begun your journey of managing anger, you must commit to growth. Don’t accept anger issues as a way of life. Remain committed to growth and share this commitment with others. It won’t be an overnight process. It will take time. Accept that. Also accept that God is faithful, and He will see you through.
We just can’t bypass the process. As you continue to work at it, you’ll begin to see results. You’ll start noticing that issues that would have angered you in the past, no longer anger you. Or, if you are angered, it’s not as intense as it used to be.
5. Remain aware.
As you mature in managing anger, remain aware. Stay mindful that you have an enemy that constantly aims to destroy you [John 10:10]. He will never stop attacking God’s children. As we mature, he also adjusts his strategies toward us. Therefore, we can never let our guard down.
Daily, we must prioritize spending time with God, so He can prepare us for what He knows is coming our way.
Even as we mature in certain areas, it’s always a good idea to review our notes so we can be reminded of how far God has brought us. This keeps us in a grateful, humble space and reminds us of our dependence on Him. God will never leave us, nor forsake us [Joshua 1:5]. Remaining aware of His truth will keep us full of faith and allow us to know that no matter what comes, He will always see us through. | Read another article by the same writer |
The writer is an entrepreneur and author of Break Free and Live! She has a master’s degree in strategic communications from Oklahoma State University and is an adjunct professor at Tulsa Community College.
