By Robin Sam
A survey conducted a few years ago that I came across in an old Reader’s Digest magazine said parents the world-over gave top priority to their children learning how to respect others over other equally important virtues.
Participants in 13 of the 16 countries where the survey was conducted said first and foremost they would teach their children the importance of respecting others and obedience to elders. The less important things that followed were patriotism, kindness and sense of humor. Parents from India also felt the same way. Phew!
Parents who responded to the survey from China, Germany and Russia, however, felt otherwise. They said they gave importance to the value of kindness and mercy in their children’s lives. Sense of humor came at No.3 while patriotism was the least important for parents of these countries.
The countries that gave importance to respect and obedience were:
Brazil 82%
Philippines 76%
Spain 75%
Mexico 75%
South Africa 65%
India 58%
The countries that placed kindness over other things were:
China 63%
Germany 56%
Russia 45%
The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 ‘Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.’ Experts in the field of child development agree that children need to be taught fairly early in their lives to master any skills. Like they say, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Do you know our God has a great expectation from those He has redeemed by His Son’s blood? In Genesis 18:19 we see the faith God placed on Abraham. The verse goes like this in the English Standard Version: ‘For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”
When God made this pronouncement about Abraham, Isaac was not born yet. Nevertheless, He had this tremendous faith in Abraham. So, what does God intend that we teach our children? He is an unchanging God and He has not changed the yardstick yet. He expects us to teach our children the importance of righteousness and justice – the same virtues that God expected Abraham to teach his progeny. However, we may do well to remember that God expects us to command our children and not offer them helpful suggestions in this regard. When we teach our children God’s ways, it is akin to God teaching them.
Isaiah 54:13 says: ‘All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.’ They will be established in righteousness, far from oppression and fear and no terror shall come near them, says the Word of God.
We should never assume that our role ends with showing them the way in which they need to walk. We need to try to shape them till they know the difference between good and evil and what seems like good. When tempted by Satan in the Garden of Eden, Eve knew that if she ate from the tree in the middle of the garden she would be violating God’s command. Despite that she chose to go with her judgment based on what she saw as good. ‘When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it’ (Genesis 3:6).
We need to coach them and pray for them till they walk in the path of life. How do we do that? By teaching them the Word of God and explaining how much they mean in our lives. We also need to often recall God’s grace that keeps us alive, sustains and supports us. Lamentations 3:22 says, ‘It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.’ We must take care to explain God’s grace and mercy in every aspect of our life to them.
The Bible has laid out the rules of parenting clearly. One of which is explained in Deuteronomy 6:6 & 7 ‘And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.’
How are we supposed to teach the Word of God to our children? Not as half-hearted or spiritless attempts but ‘you shall teach them diligently to your children’ (emphasis mine).
When Apostle Paul wrote the epistle to Timothy, the latter was already a full-grown adult who was ready to go as a missionary. Nevertheless, Paul must have been led by the Spirit of God to teach him thus: ‘But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.’
As parents it is our duty to remind our children to ‘continue’ in what they have learned.
The Bible also expects parents to use the rod of correction when children go astray. Proverbs 13:24 says: ‘Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.’ Proverbs 19:18 says: ‘Discipline your children, for in that there is hope’.
It is not enough to desire to make them walk in righteousness and justice. Remember our children pay closer attention to what we are than what we say. If the advices we offer them and our own actions don’t match, neither our words nor our disciplining will yield fruit.
We need to examine ourselves before setting up benchmarks for our children. Teaching them the right way is a vital step in parenting, but three other steps precede that. We need to ask ourselves two important questions before we get there.
- Are we loving the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our might? (Deuteronomy 6:5)
- Are the words that He commands us really on our heart? ((Deuteronomy 6:6)
- We need to yield ourselves to the guidance and teaching of the Holy Spirit and ask Him for guidance in bringing up children in the right way. That’s what Manoah asked the angel of God in Judges 13:12. ‘And Manoah said, Now let thy words come to pass. How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?’
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him (James 1:5).
