OVER the past 20 years I have had many international government, state, defense and corporate officials discuss with me their challenges dealing with Israel, and with the Israeli in Israel. (I qualify in Israel because the Israeli can behave quite differently outside their borders).
However, I soon became reluctant to pass on cultural and behavioral details as some used the information to justify their own biases and hatred against Israel. Choosing rather to use the knowledge in a destructive manner against the Israeli thinking they could embarrass or pressure the local people into changing their behavior. But, that didn’t work as it made the Israelis mad and more defiant, and the people who initiated it became more miserable and spiteful.
Nevertheless, for a short time some westerners persisted in discussing Israel’s alleged shortcomings among themselves, and the frustrations turned into bitterness and thus became an obstacle (in some circles it still exists).
So, to help prevent unfair judgment of Israelis, I started to include some of our own character qualities and perceived qualities in discussions to show that everyone has positive and negative traits. For example American qualities such as prosperity, independence, liberty, hard-work, education, empathy, generosity, religiousness, and tolerance along with arrogance, uncultured behavior, brazenness, recklessness, pretentiousness, naiveté, shallow-minded, unsighted and insulting behavior.
Eventually, behavior cultural traits and patterns became the most discussed topic, and there are three reasons why. First, there are numerous embassies or consulates in Israel. Second, the Israeli has a reputation (whether deserved or not) for being extremely difficult to deal with. Probably the most common complaints are assertions of Israelis being rude, unaccountable, unreliable, and self-centered. Third, because I am a gentile who has lived and worked in Israel many years, I have been fortunate to successfully explain what contributed to their mannerisms from a gentile point of view.
To begin with, the new State of Israel, the re-established Israel is a young country only 64 years old.
Furthermore, to most in the world, the country of Israel appears as if it is a western capitalistic society. It is not. It is striving to be partially capitalistic but is mainly socialistic in culture and Middle Eastern in behavior.
Modern Israel’s identity was ultimately formed by the repercussions prior to, during, and after World War II. The conditions forced scores of international Jews, and Jewish war refugees made up of broken families, and as orphans to immigrate.
Subsequently, the Jews lived here in a demanding environment attributed mainly to lethal Arab rejection. Israelis had to literally do everything for themselves with little dependence on anyone or any nation while enduring further death and destruction due to Muslim persecution.
Because of the enormous lack of resources, many new immigrants were placed in or joined Kibbutzim. These communal work villages were socialist and/or communistic, which in some cases had opposite values, practices and beliefs from Allied western countries.
A number of refugee children, while growing up, had no parents to love, share, protect, discipline, and educate them. Nor were there enough parental mentors, for the number of children, for personalized guidance in future trade or work professions.
Accordingly, each person did what was right, in his/her personal opinion, and got away with it as long as it did not grossly affect someone else. Those kids are now parents and grandparents and have passed the same conduct to the current generation (because they didn’t know any different). Besides, their displayed behavior normally was without malice. Instead, it was for survival in a highly competitive atmosphere that had limited resources, in a volatile region.
It also appears that from 1948 until about 1995 Israel and Israelis lived isolated, excluded from most of the world due to several kinds of world boycotts both economically and diplomatically. There was very little etiquette contact or western business experience with the “outside” world except for a select few government, military and business individuals, despite that Israelis travel overseas for vacations.
Consequently Israelis lived in a constant “inner circle or closed world” centered on their beliefs and traditions of their culture and religion with superficial or no consistent interaction with gentiles.
As a result only a minority of Israelis had the opportunity or means to learn proper protocols and business tactics according to western standards unless they moved abroad. Although in those years, the Israelis were fully engaged with defending themselves. How they looked, appeared or sounded to the world public was secondary.
Back then, their world perception may have been a bit one-sided anyway. Apart from school and the saturated, negative news coverage of Israel, most of Israeli exposure and perception to gentile culture originated from American television, international films, book novels, and tourists.
Additionally, Israel is a small country and could be illustrated as one big extended family. Almost everyone knows everybody or knows of, or knows someone who knows someone, etc.
Hence, there might be a lack of esteem for anyone who is a high achiever or who has an important position because, after all they are part of the family, and family members tell each other precisely what they think whether they are out ranked or not.
Moreover, all Israelis are expected to serve mandatory military service due to inadequate workforce numbers, the relentless regional threats of war and terrorism, and the bleak reality of perpetual conflict. In contrast, Americans join the military because they want to. This constitutes a major difference in pride, behavior, expectations, performance and mentality because Israelis live as if they are going to die young.
Nonetheless, regardless of the western diplomatic, military and business accusations in the last 20 years, Israel has made monumental adaptations in the field of western customs, public behavior and business practices as a result of persistent re-education.
What’s more, Israel is overcoming their trials to become a dominate, world renown center for cutting edge high tech businesses and creative technologies that are invented, patented and exported.
Yet, some may contend Israel has a lot more to learn in the diplomatic arena. Perhaps, yes. But, just because nations may not like Israeli politicians’ replies or decisions or Israelis steadfastly defending their international and domestic rights does not signify disrespect or misbehavior.
I know from personal experience that Israel has come a long way in a short time. And, I counter the critics because the Israelis continually strive to improve.
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Don Davis has over 20 years experience in analytic research particularly regarding Israeli, Middle Eastern culture, behavior and historical patterns. Don is based in Israel, from where he monitors and evaluates worldwide information on finance, technologies, industries, and the military/political environment for a US consulting company.