Lu Liping is one of China’s most famous actresses. She and her husband, who is also a Christian, are very open and public about their faith. Their blogs and microblogs have tens of thousands of followers.
This article in the Christian Times is about a Weibo post that Ms. Lu wrote with advice for Christian couples.
CHINESE children have traditionally been taught that married couples should never argue. For most couples today, however, going an entire lifetime without arguing is simply impossible.
Married couples often argue over trivial matters. The devil likes to take advantage of these situations, prompting those involved to be reckless and thoughtless in their speech. As a result, arguing becomes like a dull knife, their unfiltered words causing harm to both parties involved.
According to a lifestyle survey, couples argue over matters as small as “Why was dinner so salty tonight?” or “I just cleaned that floor! Why did you go and make it dirty again?” They also argue about great matters such as “Who should control the household finances?” and “Which university should our child attend?” Everyday problems such as these can result in an endless string of disagreements.
In actuality, there are many kinds of arguments. Some are forgotten as soon as they’re over while others can result in the breakup of a relationship. The difference between the two lies in whether or not couples know how to argue. This is a pre-request course for every couple today.
The fairy-tale marriage of well-known Christian actors Lü Liping and Sun Haiying is an example of what many young Christians hope for in their own marriages.
Recently, Lü posted on her Weibo account, “A must-read for Christian couples: What ten things shouldn’t you do when you argue? Here are the ‘10 Commandments’ for Christian couples when arguing:
1. Don’t argue in public;
2. Don’t argue in front of your children;
3. Don’t argue when your partner is angry;
4. Don’t bring up past arguments;
5. Don’t involve your spouse’s parents or other family members;
6. Don’t treat isolated situations like the norm;
7. Don’t talk about things that can’t be changed;
8. Don’t raise your voice;
9. Don’t strike your spouse;
10. Don’t ever bring up the possibility of divorce.”
These ‘10 commandments’ seem to be a much-needed lesson for this generation of couples, since they were shared on Weibo over 800 times. From the comments that were generated, it’s clear that both Christian and non-Christian Weibo users benefited from Lü’s post. One non-Christian exclaimed, “All couples should refer to this!” while others added, “I agree! I think it doesn’t matter what religion you are, spouses don’t need to argue. Reconciling peacefully is much better!” and, “I’m not a Christian, but I need to do this in my own life. This is a good compass for couples.” Still another online user mentioned that disagreeing is an art form of its own: “Arguing well takes skill—only then can it benefit both sides. The more you get things off your chest, the better you feel.”
Some Christian Weibo users also agreed that they needed to repent of sin in this area of their lives. They hadn’t heard this kind of advice before, and claimed they’d inadvertently caused harm to their spouses and children while arguing. Chinese Church Voices